Is Everybody Succeeding Without Me?
Do you ever have that one topic you will avoid talking about at any cost? It's just something you hate talking about, and it makes you want to crawl inside a shell and never see the light of day again? Maybe it's a few topics. I know for me there are multiple, for sure. These topics/questions include, but are not limited to, the following:
- Things I did in middle school/high school
- Haircuts from the past
- "So do you have someone special?" (No, grandma, I don't. Thank you for your concern.)
- The amount of coffee I drink
- One Direction's hiatus (It's a break, not a break up.)
Lately, the questions that really work my nerves are these: What are you doing? Where do you go to school? Really, these questions shouldn't bother me as much as they do, but they do. They just do. Have you ever see that Saturday Night Live skit about the turtle shirt? It is hilarious, and perfectly depicts how I feel when people come to me with these questions. The whole skit is for this "product" called the Turtle Shirt. It is this shirt that is made of the same material as a turtle shell and is made specifically for hiding in. In the skit, it shows multiple embarrassing things happening to different people, and those people then hiding inside their Turtle Shirt, using is as a "personal panic room" to escape an awkward situation. If you haven't seen it, you should go watch it now. It is a tad inappropriate at times, so be aware. It's SNL, what do you expect?
When asked these questions, especially the one about school, I tense up. My hands sweat and my heart drops all at one question. The answer is simple: no, I do not go to school anywhere. That's all that I really need to say, because no one is entitled to any sort of explanation, but why do I feel so pressured to have a better answer than that? I quickly follow up with something like, "But I did just get back from a 3 month mission trip in Southeast Asia.." In my mind, this makes me sound like I am still accomplished, and I am not some sort of deadbeat who just doesn't want to go to school.
This amazing experience last year, one that changed my life forever and will always be in my heart, has now become some kind of excuse I use to make myself feel better about how others view me. This is not what I went on the mission field for. It is not meant to be an excuse to throw at people when asked a question that, in reality, they won't judge the answer to anyway!
In today's society, after you graduate high school, you are expected to jump into college and know what you want to do for the rest of your life and get started on it as quickly as possible. I am guilty of thinking this way to an extent also. When I hear that someone my age isn't in school, and doesn't really plan on going to school, I have two thought. 1.) Oh my goodness thank God I am not alone in this boat and 2.) but why don't you want to go to school? It is not my business, yet I am so curious as to why someone wouldn't go to school. To further your education and grow academically so you can have a nice career and settle down. That's the American dream, right? Why don't you want it?
I have come to realize two very important things in the past few weeks, with the help of the Holy Spirit and some new and amazing friends. First, that it is okay to not go to college. You do not need a lame excuse. The fact that you simply do not want to go is enough. I am one to throw out unnecessary reasons like lack of money to justify me not continuing my education. College is not for everyone, and if you feel led somewhere else, go for it! If you feel led to take a year off and travel and then go back to school, do that! Or travel and never come back. See the world, spread the Word, and do good. It is possible if God calls you to it. He will make a way, when there is no way.
Second, I do not need a degree to spread the love of Christ. And that is exactly what I plan to do. God called me over foreign waters last year, and I believe that was just sticking my toes in all that the Lord has for me. I am determined to continue my mission work overseas, and the excitement I feel knowing that is what I am aiming for is great. I do not know where I go, but I know that my God has my back every step of the way. Maybe I will go across borders one more time. Maybe twice. Maybe I will be planted in the middle of a foreign country I have never heard of and live there until my dying breathe. If that is what God wants from me, I am prepared to jump right in, head first. I will not hold back my love, because He does not hold back his.
When asked these questions, especially the one about school, I tense up. My hands sweat and my heart drops all at one question. The answer is simple: no, I do not go to school anywhere. That's all that I really need to say, because no one is entitled to any sort of explanation, but why do I feel so pressured to have a better answer than that? I quickly follow up with something like, "But I did just get back from a 3 month mission trip in Southeast Asia.." In my mind, this makes me sound like I am still accomplished, and I am not some sort of deadbeat who just doesn't want to go to school.
This amazing experience last year, one that changed my life forever and will always be in my heart, has now become some kind of excuse I use to make myself feel better about how others view me. This is not what I went on the mission field for. It is not meant to be an excuse to throw at people when asked a question that, in reality, they won't judge the answer to anyway!
In today's society, after you graduate high school, you are expected to jump into college and know what you want to do for the rest of your life and get started on it as quickly as possible. I am guilty of thinking this way to an extent also. When I hear that someone my age isn't in school, and doesn't really plan on going to school, I have two thought. 1.) Oh my goodness thank God I am not alone in this boat and 2.) but why don't you want to go to school? It is not my business, yet I am so curious as to why someone wouldn't go to school. To further your education and grow academically so you can have a nice career and settle down. That's the American dream, right? Why don't you want it?
I have come to realize two very important things in the past few weeks, with the help of the Holy Spirit and some new and amazing friends. First, that it is okay to not go to college. You do not need a lame excuse. The fact that you simply do not want to go is enough. I am one to throw out unnecessary reasons like lack of money to justify me not continuing my education. College is not for everyone, and if you feel led somewhere else, go for it! If you feel led to take a year off and travel and then go back to school, do that! Or travel and never come back. See the world, spread the Word, and do good. It is possible if God calls you to it. He will make a way, when there is no way.
Second, I do not need a degree to spread the love of Christ. And that is exactly what I plan to do. God called me over foreign waters last year, and I believe that was just sticking my toes in all that the Lord has for me. I am determined to continue my mission work overseas, and the excitement I feel knowing that is what I am aiming for is great. I do not know where I go, but I know that my God has my back every step of the way. Maybe I will go across borders one more time. Maybe twice. Maybe I will be planted in the middle of a foreign country I have never heard of and live there until my dying breathe. If that is what God wants from me, I am prepared to jump right in, head first. I will not hold back my love, because He does not hold back his.
For now, I will be in my little hometown. In a few months, I pray I am somewhere new that the Lord has called me, even if just for a short time. He has taken care of me and fulfilled his promises time and time again, why would he stop now? Oh yeah.. He won't! That is the best thing about all of this. He will never let me down.
All the love,
Margo
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